Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Fun Fact #2

Fun Fact #2: I have an irrational fear of talking on the phone.

I admit, it's stupid. But I would MUCH rather get in my car and drive out of my way to talk to someone in person than call them. With the invention of the text message, my fear of talking on the phone has soared to ridiculous new heights.

My coworkers think this is hilarious. Anytime calls need to be made to patients, or to our own fellow nurses, I volunteer to do any other task rather than make the calls. Even though making the calls would allow me to sit for a lengthy period of time, something that I am denied often in my line of work. Thinking about talking on the phone (regardless of whether or not I know the person on the other end) produces more anxiety in my little heart than resuscitating a dying baby. Or being covered in amniotic fluid. Or being simultaneously pooped, peed, and spit up on by a terribly unhappy baby. All of which have occurred to me thus far in my career and I would rather do anytime than talk on the phone.

I also refuse to answer the phone. Many of you reading this blog know this. Caller ID has not improved my success rate in answering the phone either. I don't care if you are my mother, my work, or "Unknown Number"... I still don't want to talk on the phone. My coworkers have learned this about me, and now leave messages on my phone like, "Daja-I-know-you-won't-answer-the-phone-because-of-your-personal-issues-but-can-you-please-come-in-to-work-if-you-can-just-come-in-I-won't-bother-calling-back-because-I-know-you-won't-answer-by-the-way-your-fear-of-talking-on-the-phone-is-ridiculous-hope-we-see-you-soon!"

So I will issue this blanket apology, hoping that if you have ever not received a phone call from me and thought I was just ignoring you, you will forgive me. And next time, just text me.

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