*Writing this, I am 29-ish hours out from meeting little Alivia Grace - happy birthday!
Maybe it's because I work where I do, or because our friends are starting to have babies, or because it's spring... but lately babies have been on the mind. Constantly. It's kind of ridiculous.
Jim, being 6.5 years older than me, is at that point in his life where his friends (and graciously mine, by association!) are reproducing. And it's very exciting. The first one of his group of high school friends became a father at 5:46 AM yesterday. Others will soon follow. One of my dearest friends, who has been trying to get pregnant for 3.5 years, just discovered she is pregnant with twins! Another of our dearest friends has the potential to adopt in the very near future. Two of my friends are planning on getting pregnant this fall.
I love pregnancy, birth, and newborn babies. That's the reason I work in the field I do. There is something so wonderful, so miraculous about the whole circle of life. I love that God has allowed me to work somewhere where He is so evident to me in everything I do and see. That and I get to spend my days/nights holding babies. What fun!
However, the recent epidemic of pregnancy among our friends has elicited two thoughts in my brain: a) I love having job security! and b) Why not us? The "why not us?" question has circulated in my brain and openly to my husband, who views things slightly less skewed than I do. I believe this is because he doesn't possess as much estrogen as I do.
Jim's view is a) he doesn't feel ready to be a good father and b) we are not financially in a place for a child. He is far more concrete in his views on this than I (and my emotions) are. And it's true, financially we are not in the best place for a child. We know we could do it, if we had to. But it's not where we would like to be for the sake of our child's future.
So - to answer the many questions we have received since we were married - we are not actively trying to get pregnant. Actually, we are actively trying to NOT get pregnant. However, this did not work for two of our friends (!) and ultimately we know God is in control, no matter what steps we take to either get pregnant or not get pregnant. The moral of this story is, if I were to be pregnant tomorrow, it would be amazing and awesome and such an incredible blessing. But otherwise, don't be expecting this body to be popping out babies anytime soon!
Jim came to the hospital to visit little Alivia Grace and her thrilled parents yesterday, and after he left, Alivia's Daddy told me he thinks we will be next. Hmm.