I have to admit, this past week has not been a good one.
Circumstantially-speaking (is that a real word?), nothing has happened to make it "bad", it's just been a blah week.
Do you ever have those? I sure do.
To quickly recap, one week ago I went to a doctor who put me on a gluten- and dairy-free diet and loaded me up with pills, tonics and powder. One day after starting this new regime, I began to experience some yucky side effects. To put it nicely, my digestive tract is still trying to adjust to this new routine!
Speaking of gluten-free, I never realized the control wheat-infested carbohydrates had over my life until I couldn't eat them anymore. It's embarrassing how out of control my cravings for carbs are and what effect they had on my attitude. I never thought I had self-control issues with food, but apparently I do. My coworkers practically begged me to give in and eat carbs so I would not be so grumpy!
I spent Easter Sunday working and was sad to not be able to celebrate His resurrection with my family, church and biological alike. To make matters worse, I took care of a patient with nausea, vomiting and diarrhea on Sunday. Monday morning, guess what I had? I just love working in health care!
Beyond that, Jim has been super busy the past few weeks since baseball season started. He is so excited to coach and loves being able to work with the players and get back out on the baseball field, but his already busy schedule has taken on another 20+ hour/week commitment between practices and games. It's Tuesday night and I haven't seen my husband since Sunday. I miss him terribly.
So here I sit, wrapping of Day 2 of being home sick, alone, realizing that bread made of rice flour just isn't the same as real bread, and I have to admit this week hasn't been a good one for me. But these are just circumstances adding to an already existing problem.
One of the blogs I follow recently put it this way: "I know I'm where I belong". I have to admit I was quite a bit jealous of the writer to being able to say that. For the past few months I've felt unsettled and I haven't been sure why. I've spent four years working towards the goal of where I am today: wife to Jim, registered nurse working in labor and delivery, involved in a church I love, good family and friends to share life with... I have strongly felt God calling me to each of these areas, so you can imagine my confusion to arrive at this point and still feel so... unfulfilled. Unsettled. As if something was missing.
I'm just rambling at this point.